Avatar (Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)

OK. So. Before I talk about my week-long getaway to Indiana to move my girlfriend to grad school, I will let you all in on my feelings about the much-hyped move Avatar by the "visionary" director James Cameron. Praised as the most creative, original movie since... The Dark Knight, Dune, or perhaps the now decade old Matrix? This hype was exactly the reason I waited to see the movie when it was out of theaters and on to a 1080p Samsung.

Let me start by saying that this movie is really anything but original by anyone but visionary, thus setting the tone for my entire review.

First off. Since when did writers and directors stop getting me invested in what happens to their characters? I could seriously care less about what happens to "Jakesully", or anyone else for that matter. Other than the opening scene at the beginning of the movie where they gave a 30-second back-story on Jake, there was nothing else on the motivations, desires, or histories of any of the characters. Based on that fact alone I would lump this movie in with the rest of the low-grade meat sold worldwide at fastfood chains (as much as a greasy McDouble is awesome -- occasionally). Movies used to have class, I've seen B-movies with more character depth.

That being said, let's go on to my other gripe about this film. Where's the originality?!?! While it was making millions of dollars in theaters, everyone had some sort of praise for how original it was, and how it's been in the process of being made on the bleeding-edge of technology for 7+ years. OK. Being a techie, I don't quite understand how you can just update stuff. It would all have to be redone on newer computers with faster components and better software. *Insert extra-rant on Duke Nukem forNEVER* Now I list the plethora of things I feel James Cameron totally ripped off while making this movie:

1. The "Scorpion" aircraft. I know this may be a stretch, and I'm not a huge Halo fan. But just the idea of Spacemarines gives me that Halo-esque feel with the futuristic weapons and the fact that the Scorpion was the name of the tank in Halo.

2. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Once again a video game reference, I can't help it, I'm a gamer. But let's be real. A big-ass tree as the center of your village (Great Deku Tree), the Elvish creatures that inhabit the forest, and they're called the NA'VI?! Really? Link's fairy companion?! No. This can't be. "Hey! Listen! James Cameron! You're a DOUCHEBAG!"

3. Night Elves from the World of Warcraft. Now a quote from WoWwiki, "Teldrassil is an island and great tree off Kalimdor's northern coast.^[1] It is the new home of the reclusive night elves and a stunning testament to the power of their magic and their connection with nature"

Not to mention EVERYTHING IN AVATAR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE WORLD... of Warcraft. But now there's a big-ass tree IN TELDRASSIL TOO?!?! AND IT'S WHAT GIVES THE NIGHT ELVES THEIR POWER?! Shit man, This is seeming kind of repetitive. I don't mind if you borrow ideas from other places and people, BUT DON'T COUNT THEM AS YOUR OWN! I believe that's called plagiarism, and I didn't go through 20 years of school for someone else to make millions of dollars on someone else's ideas.

4. I know this is kind of a long shot, but I think Fern Gully had this storyline somewhere in the 90s. Fairies and forest creatures fighting the "man" to save their homeland? Yup, sounds about right.

5. Speaking about real creative blockbusters that were ahead of their time, The Matrix comes to mind. Now I know that games and movies have been ripping off Matrix for 10 years now, but once again we have some unnecessary slow-mo (aka "bullet-time"), and this awesome idea of linking with another body whether be in into a computer world or RL (real life). But that is a blatant ripoff. The only original idea with "jacking-in" is the ability to link-up with other living organisms and sharing their memories and nervous systems. That's pretty cool.

6. Last but not least (because I could think of more) we have, oh, let's see, AMERICAN HISTORY?! This sounds pretty close to the same idea of kicking out the natives for their land-resources. And then you could swap out "Unobtanium" for OIL, CRUDE FUCKING OIL, and you have the history of our country. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

But all is not lost. If you haven't seen this movie, it's worth a rent, or better yet, borrow it from a friend because the less you pay to see it the better. It's a decent action movie with some very cliche plot and script-writing and has some OK special effects, although I wouldn't say they are as good as people seem to think they are. I've seen just as good CGI in other films (and video games), but not for THE WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE. You have to give it to the actors, it's tough acting in front of a green screen with nothing to react to. But yeah, acting, not as good as I'd like it to be for such a high-budget movie. At least the paraplegic population was happy they included a "handicapable" individual as the main character. This little bit also provided for a heart-warming sub-plot about how when he was able to "jack-in" to his new Avatar body and could walk again, he was so happy to have working legs.

Final Grade: C

Pros: Another movie that rips-off The Matrix (What... "jacking-in" is still cool after 10 years!). Good graphics even though it feels a little overdone and over-the-top. Sends a repetitive "green" message about how we as humans should care about our planet, never a bad thing, however cliche. Epic battle sequence is epic.

Cons: The hype may have killed it. Bad character development on all parts. I wasn't blown away by any of it. Cliche story also goes here too. Blatant rip-offs of too many things to make it original or visionary. Bad editing, the cuts were horrible. Someone should have got fired.